Sunday, 18 March 2018


I had always admired Ken, our resident Shamba boy. The man had a way better physique compared to that of my husband who was plump, with a huge pot belly and layers of fat hanging from his body while weighing almost 100 kg. it was always tiresome having sex with him. But Ken was muscular due to working hard in our farm, he would easily lift a 90 kg sack of cow feed and carry it to the store with much ease. He always wore a vest when working which made his bulging muscles even more pronounced as he walked around. Though not being the dark type as he was a little light skinned, he had a great complexion. The problem with Ken is he was uneducated and would barely speak English.

But whenever I saw him working in our shamba at our rural home, my heart would skip a bit wondering how it would feel to be in his powerful arms in an embrace or doing even some more erotic acts. This always made me feel guilty as I had never cheated on my husband since I got married to him for almost 10 years. But my husband had put on so much weight since we got married such that it got to a point I no longer fancied his physique. Trying to tell him to cut some weight was always frowned upon as he would keep telling me that the pride of an African man is his pot belly that showcased his hard work and how he eats properly, arguing that men who are settled and happy always end up with a pot belly and that having a pot belly is a sign of achievement and respect amongst men. But this ended up taking toll on our sex life as I even stopped admiring him. I dreaded seeing him naked.

But my husband was indeed a hard-working man with several business outlets in the county of Kiambu. He was respected even in our locality in clubs, churches and social joints he used to go. People thought we were the perfect couple but I was sexually starved and my husband was doing nothing to make it work. Him being the provider made him think that is enough for me and our 2 children we had gotten together since we got married.
The fatter my husband became, the more I began fantasizing about Ken. Some days I would watch him carrying something heavy with his muscles bulging and I would catch my breath for no apparent reason. But I was keeping my distance not to fall into temptations as I found my body wanting Ken from time to time until I hated myself. I even contemplated telling my husband to fire him but what reason would I give of dismissing him? He was a good worker by all means.
Sometimes I felt like it could be I had a problem since I never got satisfied sexually and my husband would get tired easily.
However this all seemed to change when one day, when my husband had travelled to Uganda to meet a business partner I got home early and found Ken feeding the cows as usual. I had carried some goods in my car and some were heavy than I could lift comfortably. As I was trying to lift them, I hit a small stone and fell.
“Oh! Sorry Madam, you would have told me to assist you. Please let me assist you.” Ken told me with his heavy Kikuyu accent.
“Oh! No, I am all right.” I tried telling him but all the same he came over and lifted the sacks for me. He carried them with ease to the kitchen store since most were food items. I just stood there just watching at him doing what he does best wearing a tight T shirt. After he was done, I just found myself telling him, “Ken, thank you so much. Do you mind joining me for supper today?” I asked him.
He usually ate at his staff quarters so he got surprised when I suggested him to join me for supper.
“No, Madam, I am ok, I will just eat at my place.” Ken tried saying but I insisted until he promised to finish his work and come over at the evening. My children had travelled to Nairobi to visit their aunt and so I was alone in the house, even our house girl was not around too as he had taken a one week off to visit her mum in Bungoma.
I prepared some supper and at around 8 pm, I sat at the table room expecting Ken to come. He sure did not fail to come. He came and knocked the front door.
“Oh! Please come in, have a seat.” I told Ken.
“Thank you, Mama Kamau.” Ken told me as he got in and sat. Ken was a jovial man so it was not difficult maintaining a conversation with him, even though I was feeling awkward and nervous since I had never really gotten to be with Ken alone in the house.
I kept asking Ken about his personal past. It is when I got to know his actual age, he was 24 years old. I felt even more guilty admiring him since being 35 years old I did not know whether it was right fantasizing about a man over a decade younger than me.
I however did not know how to break the ice and let him know what I was feeling for him. I did not want to come out as a cheap woman, or immoral for that matter and I did not know how he would react if I told him what I was feeling for him. We were watching some random movies and the weather outside was cold since it was drizzling outside.
“Ken, how do you manage to stay like that when it is so cold?” I asked him since he was wearing a T shirt only.
“I eat a lot of mutura and soap at Kanyara’s place daily.” He said.
“Just that?” I asked him. I wished I would gather more courage to let him know I really admired him.
He smiled, a simple smile that made me even weaker.
“Yes, Madam. If you eat healthy, you will be able to withstand cold weather.” He said.
“You also have big arms and a nice physique. Do you work out?” I asked him.
He laughed a little, looked at his left arm and said, “I lift some stones that I made. My work needs me to be physically strong so I have to ensure I stay strong and healthy, otherwise, I might collapse under the workload here.” He said.
“Do we give you a lot of work?” I asked him.
“Oh! No, I am all right with the work, I can manage it.” He said.
Our dog barked outside severally. It was dark almost 10 pm.
“Why is he barking?” I asked.
“I don’t know, let me go and check.” Ken said standing up.
“Did you close the gate?” I asked him.
“Yes, I always lock it after 8 pm.” Ken said.
Ken opened the door and went outside. The dogs came running after him. He asked them why they were barking as if he would get a response. He went around our expansive compound before coming back.
“There is nothing, just some mongoose, perhaps or a wild cat. They are many around here and they normally steal chicken.” Ken said.
We sat watching the movie and just talking until it was around 11 pm.
Suddenly, Ken stood up and said, “Madam, I want to go to sleep. I want to be able to wake up tomorrow early in the morning to milk the cows.”
I wished I had the courage to just let it out of my mouth what I was feeling. I had always seen it in movies and heard of women who openly told a man what she was feeling for him, but I never imagined it would be so difficult to let it out. I felt like there was a huge stone seated in my heart that I was unable to lift. I even wondered, how does a woman tell a man she wants him? How?
“Ken, we can stay for a while. I am not feeling like sleeping.” I tried to talk him into making him stay a little more. I wanted to see if I would gather enough courage to tell him. But I kept wondering, what will Ken think of me? Is it even right for a woman of my social status sleeping with her shamba boy? Would I really bring myself to cheat on my husband with a shamba boy? A stream of questions formulated in my head.
“I shall come tomorrow and stay more, today I was tired. Tomorrow I shall plan myself not to get so tired and I shall come and watch more movies.” Ken told me.
I thought perhaps I should let him go and wait for the following day.
>>>To be continued>>>

As narrated by Anthony Kerry.

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