I heard someone ask, “If love is free why is dating so
expensive?”
The dating game in the modern society has evolved with time
and requires some insight into modernity in order to succeed in it. Dating
nowadays is like a game, a sweet game, and game of adventure, game of love, joy
and happiness and many more and in the end you either end up being happy or
sad. It can end up making friends into enemies and enemies into friends.
Remember, we have all the elements of modernity like technology
which has revolutionized the dating scene for better and/or for worse depending
on how you handle it. Read on…
Game of Finance
Romance without money rarely or never works, this is
according to modernity. I am not ruling out that relationships don’t work
without money; they do. But with the right amount of money, romance can be so
enjoyable and fulfilling to both men and women. Imagine numerous outings,
holidays in scenic destinations like Hawaii or Seychelles, etc. “No romance
without finance”, I once heard someone say. How true is this in your life?
But do not over magnify money, money is not everything; love
is.
Game of Comparison
When lovers are together, truth must be told. Many are comparing
their present lovers with their past lovers, or have other people in mind whom
they are doing the comparison. The comparison takes the form of character, financial
power, physique, etc depending on what you ultimately want in a partner. After
the comparison game is over, the victor takes home the prize: Companionship.
However, some people will pretend to be so good to you but once they get you,
the angel you knew becomes the devil you have to live with or run away from.
Game of Jealousy
Lovers are often protective to the ones they love and demand
a certain level of control and dominance in their lover’s life. They wish their
presence be felt and recognized as they are. They wish to exert some degree of
influence upon their partners and this has both positive and negative results
depending on how the two handle each other. If jealousy is pushed to the
extreme, it ruins a relationship.
Have you ever felt protective over your lover? You wish to
know where he is, who he is with, what is he doing, etc? Then you were only jealous.
This is normally solved through proper communication and building firm trust
between the two of you.
Game of Promises
Promises are told, we all lay our lives to those who promise
us nice things. Personally I would easily fall for someone who promises me “heaven on earth”, but truth be told who
hates promises? Promises in a relationship keeps the fire of hope burning and
without promises, a relationship may stall or die altogether. We promise our
lovers good life, and then it’s upon them to weigh the truth of our promises
and gauge how honest we can be. Promises fulfilled are like licking some sweet
honey after seeing it from a distance but unfulfilled promises only build mistrust.
So, it’s up to you to weigh your promises. But aren’t ladies easily caught up
in false unrealistic promises as long as they are very sweet? And later regret?
So wisdom is paramount here.
Game of Fantasy and Vanity
Fantasy rules many dating scenes on the onset of a
relationship where you view your man as a hero and your woman as a queen,
reality comes later. But a good degree of fantasy
is highly welcome as it will enhance the amount of trust and belief you can
have for someone. Let imagination take control, figure your lady as a queen and
as beautiful as a peacock, figure your man as a lion and a protector [well he
in not Jean Claude Van dame]. After all, why do we get poetic in romance? It is
due to Fantasy. Being too realistic and plain can kill romance big time.
“You are the most
beautiful woman I ever met; you are the most handsome guy on earth….” Reality?
Game of Selfishness
This is the amount of how egocentric you are. Modern dating
has its own degree of egocentrism that to an extent is good. Your lover will
want some things done his/her way and will even teach you how to do it that
way. But when this factor is pushed too far, it is harmful to any relationship.
But truth be told, don’t we feel happy when most things happen in our favor?
Game of Comfort
Love is a comfort zone. We may feel sad, down and out in
life, lonely, abandoned, and hopeless but when we have people who love us, this
may be a simple thing to endure. We lay our hearts to our lovers in the hope
that we shall be receiving the necessary comfort whenever we need it.
We have someone to pour our hearts to, someone who we can
lay bare our souls, share our worst fears and best of moments. When people are
in a relationship that is devoid of this factor, sooner or later that
relationship will crumble into pieces. Comfort
is built upon communication. Being there for each other is paramount for you to
feel comfortable with your lover.
How can you survive in a relationship without feeling the comforting
factor?
Game of Love
And this is true love...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,
they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away.
If your dating is to be successful, without love as shown
above, you are sailing in a leaking boat. Grab your life saver and run for your
life or wait to sink.
Related post: THE ABC OF RELATIONSHIPS
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