I heard someone ask, “If love is free why is dating so expensive?”
The dating game in the modern society has evolved with time and requires some insight into modernity in order to succeed in it. Dating nowadays is like a game, a sweet game, and game of adventure, game of love, joy and happiness and many more and in the end you either end up being happy or sad. It can end up making friends into enemies and enemies into friends.
Remember, we have all the elements of modernity like technology which has revolutionized the dating scene for better and/or for worse depending on how you handle it. Read on…
Game of Finance
Romance without money rarely or never works, this is according to modernity. I am not ruling out that relationships don’t work without money; they do. But with the right amount of money, romance can be so enjoyable and fulfilling to both men and women. Imagine numerous outings, holidays in scenic destinations like Hawaii or Seychelles, etc. “No romance without finance”, I once heard someone say. How true is this in your life?
But do not over magnify money, money is not everything; love is.
Compare the article Love and Money
Game of Comparison
When lovers are together, truth must be told. Many are comparing their present lovers with their past lovers, or have other people in mind whom they are doing the comparison. The comparison takes the form of character, financial power, physique, etc depending on what you ultimately want in a partner. After the comparison game is over, the victor takes home the prize: Companionship. However, some people will pretend to be so good to you but once they get you, the angel you knew becomes the devil you have to live with or run away from.
Game of Jealousy
Lovers are often protective to the ones they love and demand a certain level of control and dominance in their lover’s life. They wish their presence be felt and recognized as they are. They wish to exert some degree of influence upon their partners and this has both positive and negative results depending on how the two handle each other. If jealousy is pushed to the extreme, it ruins a relationship.
Have you ever felt protective over your lover? You wish to know where he is, who he is with, what is he doing, etc? Then you were only jealous. This is normally solved through proper communication and building firm trust between the two of you.
Game of Promises
Promises are told, we all lay our lives to those who promise us nice things. Personally I would easily fall for someone who promises me “heaven on earth”, but truth be told who hates promises? Promises in a relationship keeps the fire of hope burning and without promises, a relationship may stall or die altogether. We promise our lovers good life, and then it’s upon them to weigh the truth of our promises and gauge how honest we can be. Promises fulfilled are like licking some sweet honey after seeing it from a distance but unfulfilled promises only build mistrust. So, it’s up to you to weigh your promises. But aren’t ladies easily caught up in false unrealistic promises as long as they are very sweet? And later regret? So wisdom is paramount here.
Game of Fantasy and Vanity
Fantasy rules many dating scenes on the onset of a relationship where you view your man as a hero and your woman as a queen, reality comes later. But a good degree of fantasy is highly welcome as it will enhance the amount of trust and belief you can have for someone. Let imagination take control, figure your lady as a queen and as beautiful as a peacock, figure your man as a lion and a protector [well he in not Jean Claude Van dame]. After all, why do we get poetic in romance? It is due to Fantasy. Being too realistic and plain can kill romance big time.
“You are the most beautiful woman I ever met; you are the most handsome guy on earth….” Reality?
Game of Selfishness
This is the amount of how egocentric you are. Modern dating has its own degree of egocentrism that to an extent is good. Your lover will want some things done his/her way and will even teach you how to do it that way. But when this factor is pushed too far, it is harmful to any relationship. But truth be told, don’t we feel happy when most things happen in our favor?
Game of Comfort
Love is a comfort zone. We may feel sad, down and out in life, lonely, abandoned, and hopeless but when we have people who love us, this may be a simple thing to endure. We lay our hearts to our lovers in the hope that we shall be receiving the necessary comfort whenever we need it.
We have someone to pour our hearts to, someone who we can lay bare our souls, share our worst fears and best of moments. When people are in a relationship that is devoid of this factor, sooner or later that relationship will crumble into pieces. Comfort is built upon communication. Being there for each other is paramount for you to feel comfortable with your lover.
How can you survive in a relationship without feeling the comforting factor?
Game of Love
And this is true love...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
If your dating is to be successful, without love as shown above, you are sailing in a leaking boat. Grab your life saver and run for your life or wait to sink.
Related post: THE ABC OF RELATIONSHIPS