Wednesday, 20 February 2013

8 MAJOR Reasons why as a MAN you are NOT a MARRIAGE MATERIAL to her

The modern lady of the modern society is a lady with very specific and somehow unrealistic demands for this life. But when it comes to the choice of a good husband, men too are partly to blame for the fact that many ladies out there are still single and searching for a life partner or a soul mate (Note the difference!). It does not matter whether the lady was once married and ended up parting with her husband, or never married and is still searching.

The truth is there are myriad reasons why ladies complain that many men are NOT marriage materials. According to my observation and enquiries from the society at large, there are combinations of very valid reasons as to why as a man who may be single, or in a relationship that won’t lead to marriage, according to her you are not a marriage material and unless you change, you will continue being as such. Read on…

Below are 8 major reasons why you may not be a marriage material to the lady. 



The inability to anticipate future events and developments is a major turn off to any single serious lady who is weighing the prospects of having you as a husband. Lack of vision portrays you as someone who will not ensure stability and security of a family in the near and far future. As much as love is the most important thing in any relationship, the truth is love cannot be eaten; you cannot sleep on love, love cannot ensure that your future children goes up to university level, etc. This is a matter of being realistic and if you want to impress a lady, have vision in life.

A man with a vision in life also has a focus in life too and will exhibit concentrated effort and attention on particular things in life e.g. career, social stability, spiritual insight and godliness, life aspirations etc. Such a man is attractive to any serious lady who wishes to get a well rounded life partner.


Lack of care for the consequences of personal actions and not being legally able to assume responsibility for personal actions is also a major turn off to many modern ladies. Caring for consequences of actions prevents someone from engaging in destructive habits like drug abuse, chronic alcoholism, dishonesty in dealings of life like work ethics, loose morals like womanizing (hence risking STDs), bad and corrupting associations, etc

A responsible man also takes care of his own body and health, thus he is also attractive to people.


Men, the reality is, regardless of how a woman claims to love you as who you are, if you are not financially stable and secure, your chances of winning her as your life partner are minimal. Ladies are always worried about how the man of their dream will be able to provide for her and the future family. It is also true love alone is not enough for a stable marriage, the finance factor is also important and hence ladies will settle easily for a more financially stable man if he has what it takes to be a husband.

But there are ladies who will go to an extent of nurturing a man they love until he achieves financial stability; this is true love indeed and such ladies are rare.

However, reasons for financial instability are many, and others there are ladies who are willing to understand.


Maturity of age is not complete without the maturity of character. A mature man is able to handle this life with a lot of ease and that includes how he handles himself, his wife and his family in relation to the whole society. If you are not able to handle yourself, how do you expect a lady to trust you into being able to handle her in particular and life in general? Maturity defines how responsible you can be in life. As a man, strive for maturity of character and ladies will consider you as marriage material.

Immaturity is unforgivable to many serious ladies.


Ability to love and respect other people defines someone of desirable character, and many ladies are attracted to men who are able to show love, respect and appreciation to her in particular and other people in general. A lady will perceive your ability to love your family by the amount of love you extend to other people. A man who is caring will be able to understand a lady’s feelings and compliment her towards making her a wonderful lady in the society.

You want to impress her? Show her you have the ability to love and respect other people and that includes her, your family, her family and friends, etc


If you are not able to offer a lady both emotional and moral support, you fail to impress her as a supportive man. Being supportive portrays the fact that you are able to stand with her and for her in both good and bad times. Encourage her, help her define or redefine her life’s focus, offer guidance and support to her where necessary and show her you are able to go at a greater length to ensure that she is happy.

This also makes her feel comfortable in your company, and being able to resolve any relationship crisis that you may have as you are dating her also sends to her the message that you are a supportive man. If you are supportive, chances are high that she will want to be with you more in this life.


Show any woman that you don’t have faith in her and her abilities and she will avoid you for sure. Ladies love men who trust them. Trust is not built in a day, so you will have to spend enough time with her in order to have enough faith in her. Honest communication between the two of you about your life, your past, your fears and worries, your aspirations and goals in life, etc will increase the trust between the two of you.

Having faith in a lady also calls for appreciating who she is as of now, believing in her abilities, and encouraging and helping her towards being better in everything she can do.

Having faith in a lady also calls for sincerity, that means you don’t go backbiting her, talking ill of her in her absence, etc. This world is such a small place and any improper word you speak will come haunting you sooner or later.


This is a major turn off to many modern ladies. If you portray to any lady that you are unsafe then how do you expect her to trust you with her safety? Obviously, you are not a movie star like James Bond, but it is really essential for a lady to feel protected when she is with you. Trust me; many ladies will overlook your physical size if you have the confidence that you are able to protect her.

Confidence is all about positive attitude towards life and a belief in your abilities as a man.

What other reasons do you know as to why a man may not fit as a marriage material? Let us know.

As much as I may claim to be very observant and analytical in this life, some things are beyond what I can comprehend. There exists other myriad reasons why a lady may not consider you as a marriage material, some valid and others invalid. It is all about personal preference of the lady in question. If you meet her standards, fine if you do not, she is not the only fish on the vast ocean of love.
Ladies, if you get a man who does not have the above negative traits, don't let go off him. Such men are nowadays very rare.

RELATED ARTICLE: 10 Reasons why you are SINGLE up to now
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