I once met a beautiful charming
young lady who was open enough to tell me she is single and searching and among
the reasons why she told me for willing to get married soonest possible left me
thinking: So people can have such funny reasons for wanting to get married?
You also are single and
searching for your soul mate, or life partner (note the difference!). You feel
and know that you should get married for reasons best known to yourself. You
may have attained the legal age for getting married according to Kenyan
constitution or the right age depending on the cultures and traditions that you
adhere to.
Combinations for the reasons
for getting married according to me are the determinants of whether that
marriage is going to last or not. Remember: Doing something for the wrong
reasons in most cases leads to heartbreaks and failure.
So why do you want to get
married (or why did you get married)? Read on…
ONE: COMPANIONSHIP
The two of you have spent a
considerable amount of time together during courtship. You enjoy doing things
together and are happy and content being with each other. You have a lot in
common and complement each other. When you are apart you just miss to be
together and you surely know that without each other, life is not the same. The
two of you are just meant for each other.
That is an indication that
the two of you are good for each other’s companionship and a decision to get
married is inevitable.
Golden Wedding Rings |
TWO: SOCIAL PRESSURE
You have attained a certain
age or status and the society has some expectations for you, among them is to
get married. Everywhere you go, everyone you meet is asking suggestive
questions that indicate that you are supposed to be married. Relatives, friends
as well as enemies are all asking you the same rhetoric questions: Are you
married? When do you plan to marry?
Some ladies/men are also
proposing marriage to you whether directly or indirectly expecting you to
“decode the signal and take action!”
THREE: FINANCIAL SECURITY
Why do many ladies insist on
getting married to “financially stable man?” isn’t the answer is obvious? Same
case applies to men. Being with a lady in life who has what it takes to manage
marital finances well means you are lucky as your financial security is
ensured. But some people consider financial security for all the wrong reasons
and should the money end, the marriage is terminated. Here you often find
people gauging a marriage partner by her/his material possessions before
considering other factors.
FOUR: SOCIAL RECOGNITION
He is a successful man with
high ranking social recognition. Everyone knows and admire him. Why do you
think many ladies are after getting married to him? She is a lady who commands
respect and admiration in the society due to various reasons. Everyone loves
her, admire her. Everyone praise her and even your mum is telling you daily
what a good wife material she is. Why do you think men want to marry her so
much? Aren’t the answers as obvious as noon day sunshine?
FIVE: PROCREATION
Many African societies have
this major expectation for ladies and gents who are coming to age: get married
and have children. Same case applies to the young people; many do wish to have
a child of their own. The best way to get a child of your own is to get
married, unless as a lady you make a choice of getting a child with a man and
staying as a single mother.
SIX: DUTY FULFILLMENT
I will give a true
illustration. I once met a young man who had graduated with a degree in
theology. But for him to get an ordination as a pastor in his church, he was
supposed to get married. Thus he got married for the sole reason of getting an
ordination.
Here, you are not under
pressure to marry of whatsoever kind. But to you it is a fulfillment of a
certain obligation that has some meaning to you. The society too has many duty
and obligation related reasons for getting married and all vary in accordance to traditions
and religious beliefs.
SEVEN: CARNAL GRATIFICATION
You are still young and your
hot blood is running wild in your veins. Flames of passion and desire are
threatening to consume you. Yet you simply hate the idea of pre-marital sex
which is not a proper foundation for marriage. The only way to put an end to
your woes, as you assume, is to get married and have someone by your side who
will be there to satisfy your sexual needs when the need be.
EIGHT: EMOTIONAL GRATIFICATION
You often feel lonely, in
low mood, you feel that life has sidelined you, you need a comforter, someone
close to you whom you can share your deepest secrets, your worst fears, and
your best moments. You wish to get someone who understands you, probably along
your mood swings, someone to hold you close to his/her heart and reassure you
that no matter how the world “hates” you, you can always have a reason to
smile. Why? There is that special person who is in touch with the deepest,
secret most personality that no one understands except him/her.
NINE: WEIRD REASONS
Weird: strange and unusual.
As much as I am such an
observant person in life, there are some things which I never seem to
understand. Believe me or not, this world is full of strange things. Did it
ever occur to you that someone can marry you in order to offer you a sacrifice
to the devil [illuminati] in order to get rich or rather to offer your first
offspring a sacrifice for whatever reason?
What other reasons do you know for people getting married? Share with us.
Before making a decision to
get married, take your sweet time to try and understand as much as possible why
your mate wants to marry you. A healthy combination of the reasons for getting into marriage is the determining factor of the success of that marriage. Above all, pray and leave the rest to God.
Related Article: 10 Reasons why you are SINGLE up to now
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